I need you bad

its hard to let go when ur so close but then you wonder is this really the direction i should be going . i mean yeah you hurt me/ played me in the past but the past is the past RIGHT? . am i the dummy ? either way i end up hurting with or without you. i love you so much you dont even know i would say i was in love but that would just add more pain to the sitaution. now im stuck with the hard decision of moving on with you or without you?...i have to make this decision for myself because i can take the good times with you but i dont think i can handle losing you again ...

life as i know it

I live in a [DREAM] world. i [THINK] the first but finish [LAST].ive seen [ALOT]. Been through [ENOUGH]. if theres more [DRAMA] headed my way [KILL] me now. i cant stand [people]. i [GIVE] my all and get [NOTHING] in return. i [FALL] hard. my life is [HELL] most days. i try to [HIDE] it but turn to the [WRONG] alternatives. when i [REST] my head at [NIGHT] i feel [EMPTY]. thats pretty [MUCH] the bad [PARTS] of my [DEATH]. the word [LOVE] means different things to[DIFFERENT] people. to me its a [WORD] that makes friendships/relationships [COMPLICATED]. life has [OBSTACLES] and if you [CANT] over come them theres [ALWAYS] the option to [KILL] yourself -_-. i seem really [DEPRESSED]/suicidal but im not ive [JUST] been hit with the reality of [LIFE].